Parents And Children: Mistakes Not To Be Made
Sometimes, educating the little ones in the house is not easy at all. For this reason, it is not uncommon to come face to face with some mistakes parents make when their children disobey. Responsibilities and stress lead parents to exasperate themselves when dealing with rebellious children who don’t respect the rules and who always want to contradict them.
Despite this, it is necessary to take a deep breath to avoid making those mistakes that can throw away everything that children have learned up to that point. Let’s find out what they are together.
Mistakes that parents make
1. I’m in charge here!
The main problem with throwing tantrums, responding badly or disobeying a rule is that parents think the little ones are attacking their authority. However, if children disagree with their parents it does not mean that they want to challenge them.
Maybe they just forgot what they were told or maybe they didn’t understand. As adults, we see certain things very clearly, but we must never forget that they are children.
Instead of seeing this behavior as an attack on our parental authority, it is important to sit down and talk to the little ones to make sure they understand what we are saying to them.
In fact, this is another very common parental mistake. They want their children to abide by the rules, but they never stop for a moment to make sure they are understood or sound logical to their children’s ears.
2. Get up to their level
One of the mistakes parents make most often is getting angry or fighting back in the face of their children’s disobedience. With this behavior, they not only waste their authority, but they also lose it. This attitude gives rise to feelings of anger, frustration and anger in the smallest because they feel attacked instead of understood.
If parents want to educate their children, this is not the best way to do it, because the little ones will not understand the message in the way it is communicated to them. Furthermore, it will promote stress in the child and the discussion will create an atmosphere of anxiety that will not do him any good.
3. Rules are an option
Imagine for a moment a child in a supermarket whose parents just said they won’t buy him any candy today. The child wants them right away, so he starts throwing tantrums, throws himself on the floor in the middle of the supermarket and starts screaming: “I want candy! I want candies! ”.
As soon as he feels uncomfortable and embarrassed, the parent gives in. It is then that the child understands that rules can be avoided if he uses certain manipulation techniques to subdue the parents. If a parent gives in, even once, they have lost by now. The rules must be respected without arguing. Otherwise, the child will think that any rule can be broken.
4. Close your eyes to the evidence
How many times has this happened to us? When something comes before us that we don’t want to see because we don’t like it, we turn away as if nothing had ever happened. Despite that, that something happened. If our children disobey us and we don’t say anything or get upset, they will never understand why, on other similar occasions, instead, we get angry.
It is an inconsistent behavior and with this attitude we communicate to the little ones an interest and a lack of interest that alternate according to the day and the moment.
The feeling that our child will have when faced with this behavior is that we don’t care what he does or what he doesn’t do. This can lead to low self-esteem issues that will get worse in the not too distant future.
5. I can because I am your father or your mother!
Undoubtedly, this is the worst of the mistakes made by parents and represents an inconsistency with the rules that are imposed on children. For example, if a parent tells their child not to put his feet on the table, but then he does the same thing, the child will not understand what is happening and, perhaps, will decide to rebel.
When there is a rule in the home, all family members must respect it. Not only to set a good example, but also to be consistent with what you are asking of your children. We cannot ask our children to follow a rule if we are the ones not respecting it.
This authority that we think we have when we answer “because I say so!” or “because I’m in charge here!” it is absurd and without logic. Parents must always establish rules for their children. Despite this, it is also up to them to enforce them or not.
Perfect parents don’t exist. However, paying attention to these mistakes, being critical of yourself and finding a solution to these problems is an important and very valuable step in making your children grow better.
