Forgive A Betrayal And See If It’s Worth Doing
We know how it feels: depressed, angry, insecure, hurt and very confused. Betrayal deeply hurts a relationship, but does it destroy it? Let’s reflect together on how to forgive a betrayal and understand if it is worth doing it.
Betrayal is a major cause of separation in a couple. While it is often not the cause itself, the consequences are unequivocal.
Sometimes a betrayal is caused by a series of failures that have marked the relationship and due to which a member of the couple decides to move away to be with someone else.
Let’s see how to forgive a betrayal and understand if it’s worth doing.
Why does betrayal occur?
No excuse is valid when a betrayal occurs. It is a behavior that serves to raise the ego or avoid boredom, and there is no use justifying yourself with the typical excuses such as “it meant nothing”, “nobody must know” or “I will not hurt you”.
The most serious consequence will be a lack of trust.
Sometimes, curiosity about what is forbidden leads a person to want to try new things, without considering that it jeopardizes the precious and solid bond they have created, causing a sharp swing in the relationship and putting everything into question.
Likewise, a lie can be the result of a lack of communication or the end of love. We try to fill a gap that the stable relationship fails and sometimes satisfy a need, whatever the cause, that has not been addressed.
Is it worth forgiving a betrayal?
It is evident that the ability to love and trust is very difficult to recover immediately. It is normal, after the big shock, to want to reflect on how important the relationship is.
Is it worth giving the relationship a second chance or is it better to break it permanently? These are fairly common questions when a betrayal is discovered.
- If the person who betrayed you is repentant, what would they lose by not trying again? Would you feel happier? What and how many guarantees would you like to ensure that it does not happen again? Did it really take you by surprise or did you feel that something was going wrong?
- It is necessary to analyze whether infidelity has definitively ruined everything that worked before. After a devastating hurricane as it can be a betrayal, however, we must not rule out the possibility that the relationship will be strengthened.
- Maybe you want to forgive your partner as a person, but you don’t want to share your life with them anymore. Sometimes, breaking up is the best way to stop hurting yourself.
How to forgive a betrayal?
If you conclude after thinking deeply that it is better to give a new opportunity, you must learn to forgive infidelity and this is not easy. However, these steps could pave the way for these kinds of attitudes:
- Taking some time to be alone is essential. It will help you meditate on the importance of getting back together or not, and you have to do it without letting yourself be influenced by the opinions of others (family, friends or even the same partner). Don’t let the economic factor or “what they say” influence your decision.
- We must keep our self-esteem high and not let ourselves be overcome by the sense of guilt. You need to evaluate how much you have contributed to the situation and think about what can be done to fix things now.
- Make sure your partner is truly repentant and that they really want to commit to solving things, working hard for months or even years to regain your trust.
- It is best not to live under the same roof as you try to reconcile. You start seeing each other for dating, like when you met and started your relationship.
- It would be good to have full and frank conversations to make it clear what you are feeling, the extent of the pain caused by your partner’s action, and how much it upset your safety. Try to understand why what happened.
- Once the initial points are clarified, we recommend that you maintain a much more open communication with your partner than you did before the infidelity.
- Don’t obsess over the third person involved, don’t look for them or investigate their life.
- Try to spend more time together sharing common interests.
- When you feel like you can start over, you can get back to living together again and, this time, be sure you have a much more honest relationship, making sure the betrayal doesn’t repeat itself.
Only the injured person knows how long it will take to recover. In this article we suggest how to forgive a betrayal and understand if it is worth doing it, but the last word is yours.
