Verbal Violence: Examples And Recommendations
As the name itself indicates, verbal violence is a form of abuse, of aggression. It is therefore not necessary to go along with it, vice versa it is good to report and intervene. As a form of emotional violence, it must be eradicated, since it damages the dignity of the person who is the victim.
What is verbal violence?
By verbal violence we mean an abuse of language in order to harm someone’s dignity and safety, through insults or humiliations, in an episodic or repeated form.
The definition tells us that it can come in different forms. It may be, in fact, an insult, a vulgar comment, etc. Thus, the dignity and self-esteem of the abused person is damaged by his abuser, who believes he has the authority or privilege to attack another human being in this way.
Verbal violence, as a form of emotional abuse, can occur in any context and affect anyone. In this regard, it can be perpetrated among children, adolescents, adults or the elderly. Furthermore, it can occur in different situations: in the couple, among friends, at work, and so on.
What attitudes are to be considered forms of verbal violence?
Verbal violence leaves no bruises or wounds, but it is still mistreatment and a form of aggression. Only harder to spot. It can be expressed in the form of:
- Outbursts of anger (insults and humiliations)
- Accusations
- Blame the other person
- Humiliating and vulgar judgments and criticisms
- Minimize, belittle the victim
- Despise
- Giving orders, making demands, screaming
- To threaten
- Calling with humiliating or disparaging appellations
It happens to everyone on some occasion to lose patience and to “exceed the limits”. Despite this, we must reflect and apologize, acknowledging the damage done to the other. On the other hand, verbal violence is a practice that is repeated and that the aggressor perpetuates in full conscience in order to humiliate and denigrate the other.
Examples of verbal violence
Below we see some examples of verbal violence:
- In the couple. One of the members of the couple “orders” rather than asking. Shout with arrogance and humiliate the other. The attacker considers the partner to be in his service, as well as worthless. In addition to this, he believes it is the victim’s duty to “serve” him.
- Among friends. The attacker uses humiliating and offensive appellations. It can even threaten or belittle in front of everyone.
- In the workplace. The boss gives orders through vulgar comments, even in front of other colleagues, to address an employee or his job. Harassment occurs in public or in private. The criticism is constant, humiliating and not at all constructive.
- Older people. For example, a caregiver who insults the elderly and orders him to do something that does not involve self-respect; he despises and humiliates him.
- In parent-child relationships. We refer to derogatory appellations towards the child, insults to his detriment and contempt expressed by telling him that he cannot do anything or that it is useless. The signs of child abuse can drag on into adulthood.
What to do?
The first step is to admit that verbal violence is real. It is essential to recognize the problem because, if not, we will not be able to do anything to avoid it.
Secondly, it will be necessary to set limits; these will have to be established from the beginning of the relationship, so that the aggressor understands that he has no power or the right to humiliate.
On the other hand, even if the violence does not stop, it is time to seek help, which will depend on the context in which the abuse occurs. Thus, for example, if verbal violence occurs within the couple, a psychotherapist or a trusted person could intervene. In case of maltreatment, one must always report.
If verbal abuse occurs among minors at school, the victim should contact the school management and their parents for the anti-bullying protocol to be initiated.
Concluding remarks
Asking for help or reporting are undoubtedly the most important measures. It is not easy, in fact, and very often the victim, due to his low self-esteem, creates a relationship of dependence with the aggressor.
At other times , fear of the consequences pushes victims of abuse not to report or ask for help. The attacker could turn to threats to avoid reporting (for example, the boss threatening dismissal).
It is absolutely necessary to overcome fear and denounce all forms of violence. Only in this way can the victim finally recover self-esteem and dignity.
